The Rest Is up to Me
Two weeks into the IV antibiotics and I'm still chugging along. At the beginning of this week I caught a random virus that set me back a few steps and brought my PFTs down a bit, but there's nothing you can do for a virus except wait it out, so that's what I shall do.
With about one week of the IV antibiotics left to go, I realize that I can only count on the meds so much and that it's time for me to put forth some extra effort, both mentally and physically.
Sometimes it feels like the harder I try to hold on to a certain PFT value, the more the numbers seem to slip through my fingers. Other times I feel like they're 'just a number' and hold little-to-no correlation to how I'm physically feeling so I pay them hardly any attention at all.
There have been a few PFT goals that I've set for myself over the past few years and have somehow fallen short. It used to be so much easier to raise them up and I used to get immense satisfaction to see the looks on my doc's face when I did...
But for now I'm taking the numbers out of the equation and am going to try everything in my power to continue to improve, even after this course of IV antibiotics is over. Some may ask Well shouldn't you be doing this all the time?!? Why yes, yes I should. But anyone who is living with a chronic challenge knows that it takes a lot of constant awareness to do so and sometimes constantly thinking about your 'challenge' does more harm than good. Also when you are juggling multiple balls/challenges it's impossible to give 100% of yourself to each ball all the time, so you have to prioritize and usually what's causing you the most pain gets top billing. At least that's been the case for me.
All we can do is do our best. Now that I many of my other 'balls' are at bay, I can devote more time and energy to my respiratory wellness. I got this!
With about one week of the IV antibiotics left to go, I realize that I can only count on the meds so much and that it's time for me to put forth some extra effort, both mentally and physically.
Sometimes it feels like the harder I try to hold on to a certain PFT value, the more the numbers seem to slip through my fingers. Other times I feel like they're 'just a number' and hold little-to-no correlation to how I'm physically feeling so I pay them hardly any attention at all.
There have been a few PFT goals that I've set for myself over the past few years and have somehow fallen short. It used to be so much easier to raise them up and I used to get immense satisfaction to see the looks on my doc's face when I did...
But for now I'm taking the numbers out of the equation and am going to try everything in my power to continue to improve, even after this course of IV antibiotics is over. Some may ask Well shouldn't you be doing this all the time?!? Why yes, yes I should. But anyone who is living with a chronic challenge knows that it takes a lot of constant awareness to do so and sometimes constantly thinking about your 'challenge' does more harm than good. Also when you are juggling multiple balls/challenges it's impossible to give 100% of yourself to each ball all the time, so you have to prioritize and usually what's causing you the most pain gets top billing. At least that's been the case for me.
All we can do is do our best. Now that I many of my other 'balls' are at bay, I can devote more time and energy to my respiratory wellness. I got this!
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| One of my faves. |
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