My Melmoirs

"I can't believe you said that!" is a phrase I've heard from friends and family more times than I can count. I don't have much of a filter and say whatever pops into my mind more often than not. I do so because I know my intention is never malicious or hurtful, but rather of love and a general fondness of my fellow humans. I try to see the good in the world as much as possible and live for small talk with strangers and loved ones alike. That being said, there have been many a time I've had my foot in my mouth and cringed at some of the words that flew out before I could catch them--not because I said something mean, more so comically cringe-worthy or inappropriate, like the time I told a revered physician that I was "just busting [his] balls" (see, totally cringe-worthy!)  I may have the best intentions in the world, yet not all thoughts are necessary to share, I get it. But then there was the other day when I was checking out at Target. ...

For those of you wondering, I did in fact escape the hospital last week. I was pleasantly surprised when the docs and I struck a deal: they wanted me to stay until Monday (yesterday) but agreed to let me go home Thursday evening if I agreed to return for lab work on Monday, a no-brainer in my eyes! I actually had to have blood work taken Saturday and Monday because my kidneys were acting up when I left the hospital. But I am happy to report that my kidneys are calming down and my blood is nice and thin. Two issues down, one to go (actually feeling better).  When I got home from the hospital I crashed, both mentally and physically. The lack of sleep and chest PT/nebs caught up with me and had me feeling pretty crummy. Not to mention that I'm still short of breath from the pulmonary embolisms and that my oxygen drops when I walk for more than 5 minutes.  Mentally I began processing it all. It's been challenging at times to stay in the moment and not drift...thinki...