Only A Day Away

     It's been a little over a week since my embolization and it's been a harder recovery than I anticipated.  Looking back, I realize that I was so focused on avoiding the ICU that I failed to mentally prepare myself for the recovery process.  The past nine days have been a journey through fever/infection, insomnia, lung pain, headaches, intense blood clot pain, nausea, zero appetite, night sweats, muscle fatigue/weakness, shortness of breath, chest tightness, back pain, body aches, etc.  And the docs say that's all normal - apparently being intubated under general anesthesia for 6+ hours while they work on your lungs and arteries is kind of a big deal.  They've prepared me that some patients experience pain for weeks.  Yet still, I impatiently wait to magically wake up one morning and feel better.  Almost every day I go to bed thinking 'Tomorrow's going to be better', only to experience a different challenge the next day.

     My most recent 'challenge' has been the toughest: excruciating pain on the left side of my chest.  I acutely began feeling the pain on Monday night and it's been constant ever since.  The type of pain is very unfamiliar to me and is worse than most pain I've experienced.   When I saw my CF doc yesterday she sent me for a chest x-ray, which offered no explanation for the pain, but did show that there is still some blood remaining in my right lung (apparently it can take a few weeks to reabsorb.)  She contacted my clot doc/cardiologist and my IR doc to see if they had any hypothesis about my pain.  My clot doc/cardiologist says that it sounds like it could be pericarditis (inflammation of the sac that surrounds the heart) and wants me to start taking Motrin in addition to my other pain killers, despite being on blood thinners.  My CF doc also added another antibiotic to the mix.  Relief cannot come soon enough. 

     This journey is one that I am grateful for because, let's be honest, it's better than the alternative.  But it feels like another summer is slipping through my fingers and I haven't really had a chance to enjoy it yet.  It is for this reason - and to give my lungs more time to heal - that I have decided to put my gallbladder surgery on the shelf for a while.  Don't worry, I have my doc's blessing, as long as I don't have many severe 'attacks' in the meantime.  The past few weeks have certainly tested my spirit and sanity, but I am resilient and know that some day this will all be a distant memory.  I also know that one of these days 'tomorrow' really will be better.