One Giant Leap for Melkind

     
     Holy shit balls, this is really happening!  Saturday morning I will set out to run my very first 5K.  But in order to understand why this presently means so much to me, you'll need to take a moment to understand my past and the journey that's lead me here.  So please bear with me for a brief history:

     I have always viewed running as cruel and unusual punishment and avoided it at all costs, even back I was in elementary school.  In winter of 2009 after my "ICU Coma" incident, my health dramatically declined - so much so that after a year of trying to get pregnant, Mark and I began mentally preparing that it might not be in the cards.  Months passed and progress was slow yet steady and by the spring/summer one of my best friends, Didi (a marathon veteran), somehow convinced me to sign up for a 5K that fall (Sept. 2010).  She believed in me more than I believed in myself and knew that spending the summer training would get me back to 'healthy'.  She was right.  Yet I never did get to run the 5K because a few weeks before the race, I discovered that I was pregnant and my body just wouldn't let me run anymore.  Though I was disappointed, I felt more grateful because I knew in my heart that it was all of the training that got me healthy enough to conceive and make it through a healthy pregnancy.  

     Getting back to the present, life has been challenging to say the least since having Myles over two years ago and I've had a hard enough time keeping up with life itself, never mind having the energy to exercise.  Last spring I briefly mentioned to Didi that after I had my gallbladder out I might like to try running again.  That's all she needed to hear and for my birthday back in May she surprised me by signing us up for the Color Me Rad 5K, which is this Saturday.  Once again, she believed in me more than I believed in me more than I believed in myself.  The plan was that after I healed from my gallbladder surgery we would have the summer to train and get my body back up to snuff, but once again life threw me a curveball in the form of the embolization and the challenging recovery.  By August I had assumed to throw in the towel and give my spot to someone else, but Didi wasn't letting me off the hook that easily and insisted that we walk it.   

     At the time, even walking a 5K seemed like it would be a challenge, but if Didi wasn't going to let me quit, then I was determined to give it my best shot.  So on September 1st I began walking and jogging on my treadmill.  Within 3 days, this measly 5K went from meaning nothing to meaning everything to me.  Twenty-five days later I am both humbled and shocked by the progress that I've made and am up to jogging 2 straight miles outside (without any walking in between.)  

     The past 3+ weeks have been quite a journey both mentally and physically.  Unlike my training back in 2010, I now have the added pleasures of arthritis/ligament inflammation, blood clot pain and a problematic pancreas and gallbladder that have ironically developed exercise-induced pain.  Physically there isn't a single ailment that hasn't caused me pain during this training process and the first few times I ran outside I coughed so hard that I threw up a little bit.  But I've found that if I just keep chugging along, everything eventually subsides...for the most part.  And while it took me awhile to see positive results, I can say that this is the first time in a long time that I've been able to go almost two weeks without any antibiotics and still feel good.  Also my cough is decreasing, my lungs have started to acclimate to the running, and I'm sure if I were to do PFTs right now, they'd be up.  All wonderful things.   

     While I expected the physical challenges, I was a little surprised by the mental ones.  This go around I had to train by myself and each time I reached a new milestone or suffered a setback, I found myself getting very weepy.  Some tears were out of sheer frustration that my body wouldn't catch up to my new mindset, some were out of disappointment in myself that I hadn't tried to push myself sooner, some were for a few fellow CF friends that haven't been as lucky, but most of the tears were out of gratitude that after all this little body has been through, it's still got a lot of strength, determination, and resiliency left.  That makes me feel inspired.  And in the spirit of inspiration, this 5K has also driven me to try a 'hot yoga' class and even sign up for an adult volleyball league. All in all, this 5K has given exercising both a purpose and a destination, which is exactly what I needed to get started.  

     Now that I've seen what I'm capable of, I plan to continue exercising and challenging myself on a regular basis, so in that regard I know that I've already come out on top.  That being said, I don't want to hear that it's okay if I have to walk...blah...blah...blah.  I've come this far and am hell-bent on jogging the entire thing.  A 5K is 3.1 miles and so far I've maxed out at 2, so I realize I've got an uphill battle ahead of me.  But I'm banking on adrenaline, divine intervention, dance music, and a special little motivator by the name of Didi who will be by my side every step of the way pacing me, pepping me up, and believing in me.  Here's hoping...