Greater Than

Sir Isaac Newton's third law said that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. All due respect Sir Newton, but the older I get, the more I’ve realized that the opposite reaction is not always equal, sometimes it’s greater than.

Take for example, when life throws some challenges my way and I find myself in a funk or swirling with negative emotions. The most sure-fire way I get myself out of those ruts is to release some kindness and/or positivity into the world. Each time I do I immediately feel happier and continue to keep the good ripples going. Positive ripples are contagious.

In my son’s short life there has been no shortage of negativity in the world. It seems like it’s one hate-filled tragedy after another and I’ve had to navigate which ways feel best to address them with him — heck if I have a hard time soothing myself, how am I supposed to help him?! 

The easier route would be to keep him sheltered and avoid talking about them all together. I don’t shame any parent who chooses to go that route, I get it. For me personally, I think it’s important he has some sense of the things hate are capable of now so we can learn how to work through all those scary feelings together before he’s a teenager having to suddenly figure it out or, worse, if he ever finds himself on the receiving end of senseless hate.

What's felt best for me is to take my “greater opposite reaction" spin and apply it to acts of hate. I tell him in age-appropriate ways about the hate-filled events and then together we think of ways we can counteract the hate with acts of love and kindness.  

Years ago I read about how Mr. Rogers' mother taught him to "look for the helpers" during tragic events and I liked that. But then I developed a greater sense of responsibility; to not only look for the positive but to take positive action. It's common to feel helpless, so taking action reminds us of our autonomy. Not to mention that kids learn more from our actions than our words and the hate isn't going to drive itself out. 

In this sense, being a parent has made me a better person. I hold myself to a higher standard knowing that Myles is always watching and learning from my actions and reactions. Having an open dialogue with him has also forced me to evaluate my own difficult emotions and why bad things sometimes happen to good people.

Truth be told, my "greater opposite reaction" theory is also a little selfish because you get what you give and it brings me inner peace to release good vibes and love into the universe. 

I alone cannot erase hate. But I can make the world a better place by creating more positive ripples.