Twenty Thirteen Reflections

     Whoever said that the older you get, the faster time flies really nailed it!  The past few days I've been thinking a lot about 2013; reflecting on where I've succeed, where I've fallen short, and the lessons I've learned.  The good thing about having a blog is that you don't have to remember as much because so much of the year is documented.  As I looked back through older posts I realized that this year has been more of a blizzard than a day at the beach.  This year, for the first time, CF somehow crept up from the back seat into the front seat and I'm not liking it one bit.

     You see, I've always prided myself on being able to limit the role CF plays in my life... it was always just a part of my life, not a dictating force.  I suppose I was just lucky in the sense that my CF was always so manageable and that a few weeks of IV antibiotics always allowed me to bounce right back and carry on.  This year though, I'm afraid CF got a piece of me.

     Moving forward into the new year, I will not succumb to the physical challenges CF keeps throwing my way; knowing that they're only going to get harder.  I will however surrender to the realization that it's going to to take a lot more work on my part to stay balanced mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  That's one challenge I know I can conquer.  CF, I hope you enjoyed the front seat view while it lasted, because you're movin' on back in 2014 sucka!  While I'm not going to share all of my personal 2013 report card, here's a glimpse:

Where I've fallen short:

• Friends.  Not feeling well for most of the year has really made it harder to keep in touch and get out as much as I'd like to.  I miss my friends and wish I saw them more.
• Fun.  While I did have some fun this year, I really felt physically limited more than ever before.  I've got a lotta life left in me dammit, my body just needs to catch up.
• Date nights with my husband.  
• Deep breaths.  Sounds simple enough, right?  About 6 months ago one of my favorite nurse practitioners told me that I needed to start working on taking deep breaths every hour.  I did try for a while, but the attempt was short-lived because it made me feel resentful - I mean, since when did taking a deep breath become work?  Now, six months later as my breathing is quite shallow, I realize the importance.  That was stupid of me.

Where I've succeeded:

• Becoming more present.  I love that most of the time I don't even know where my cell phone is.  When you talk to me you have my full, undivided attention like you deserve.  This has also made me a more present parent, my top priority.
• Rekindling my inner athlete and accomplishing my first 5K...HUGE!
• Practicing love, compassion and gratitude regularly.
• LOVE.  By far and away my most important success is that if there were no more tomorrows, everyone I love would know exactly how much they mean to me with nothing left unsaid.  I've always been a heart-on-my-sleeve kinda girl.  

There ya have it.  I don't do "resolutions" per se, but I do have a few personal goals for myself that I hope to accomplish in 2014.  One of which is to perform an anonymous act of kindness for at least one stranger every month, others include running another 5K, get my friggin' PFTs back up, and...oh yeah, have more fun!  Geez the more I think about it, the more my list grows.    

     Thank you for taking this journey with me, for listening to all of my ramblings with a kind heart, and for your love and support.  Perhaps in the midst of celebrating today you could also take a moment to think of someone you know who might be having a hard time and let them know you care.  I wish each and every one of you a new year that is filled with good health, happiness and whatever makes you feel alive.  LOVE!